Funny Royal Loving
by Animeyaoimaster
Summary: Prince Wolfram is a selfish little brat, crushing many suitors' hearts when they ask for his hand in marriage. But that soon changes when he meets a average man named Yuuri who continues to amaze him at every turn...who restores and steals his heart!
1. Chapter 1: The Amazing Engagement

**Funny Royal Loving**

Prince Wolfram looked in boredom at the numbers of suitors before him. They looked worthless, unattractive and total idiots. Where his mother got these fools was a mystery to him. "The first suitor may step forward…" One of the royal guards announced beside him. A shaggy brown haired man with brown eyes walked up to the small platform, kneeling before Wolfram and missing the eye roll from said prince.

"Your Highness…I am Prince Derek von Bell and…" The young man started before being interrupted. "And…I don't really care. NEXT!" Wolfram shouted, waving his hand in a dismissing gesture. Prince Derek gaped in shocked horror at the rude Prince so long that the guards had to take him away. Prince Wolfram just returned the look mockingly, sneering afterwards. It was stupid how the man looked as if he had thought he had a chance. 'Humph…no one has a chance with me…' The next man was dealt with the same attitude as before the other and so on until each suitor had been gone.

"Well…I guess this is over now…" He said, getting up and dusting invisible dust away from his fancy robes before walking away. "**Wolfram von Biefield, don't you dare move!**" His mother said darkly, scaring a few of the guards and servants at the dark aura admitting from her. Her son quickly sat down, knowing how his mother was in this state. 'I must be in it deep…' He thought mournfully, wondering what punishment he would get this time. "Wolf – chan, why do you hate your mother so?" Cecile said sadly, erupting into big tears afterwards. "M-Mother, I don't hate you…" Wolfram said weakly, sweat dropping at the tears. His mother was so emotional at times. "Wolf – chan, you never call me mama or mommy anymore…" His mother cried out, looking pitifully at him with her identical emerald eyes which were filled with big tears.

"I-I'm sorry Moth…I mean Mama…" Her son replied, ready to make a run for it if she decided to hug him. The woman could hug the life out of something; she even hugged the life out of a teddy bear! 'My poor teddy…' He thought sadly. He had loved that teddy. "Excuse me…is Prince Wolfram's hand in marriage still up?" A suave voice called out suddenly, causing both the queen and her son's head to snap towards the owner.

Prince Wolfram gaped at the young man who had cute written all over him (not literally). From his black shiny hair, to his big black eyes that had innocence in them, to his black school uniform which had a few tears and rips in and patches but looked almost good on him.

He, unfortunately, was so engrossed in checking out the new arrival that he was not prepared for the ear breaking girly squeal from his mother and so suffered two seconds of deafness. "Ouch…mama that hurt…" Wolfram whined, pouting a bit. Cecile ignored her son's whining and answered the young man's question with a happy "YES!". The young man smiled happily which earned identical thoughts of 'Cute' from both the prince and queen.

"That's great news to hear your majesty…now my friend can get a chance to ask for his hand…" The young man said, looking joyous. This caused a freeze in everyone around the queen however as the dark aura came back bigger and darker around her. "**Young man, are you telling me you got my hopes up that you were going to try for my son's hand in marriage for nothing?" **The young man cringed at the dark voice and stared horrified, having not believed that was the same sweet lady he was just speaking to a few seconds ago. 'Her husband must have it tough…'

"**ANSWER ME BOY!" **

Startled again, the cute young man nodded and got on his knees, apologizing over and over. "I'm so sorry your majesty but my friend was so interested that I thought of helping her out…and I did not think of asking as I am nothing of worth to the Prince…" "Your wrong you wimp! You are of worth to me, you stupid idiotic and goddamn cute henachoko!" the Prince yelled out, having risen from his chair before saying his statement.

Everyone except the prince stared shockingly at him, quite baffled that the rude prince who had turned away more than 400 rich and handsome suitors in a year could say such a…kind thing. "Then it is settled, my son and this young man is now engaged…" Cecile announced, getting over the shock faster than the others. "Wait….what?..." Wolfram and the young man yelled in union, gaping at the queen in shock. Cecile giggled at their looks and turned to the cute young man, wishing she was as lucky as her son to get such a man. "So young man, what is your name?"

"My name…is Yuuri Shibuya…" The young man now identified as Yuuri said weakly, still a bit afraid of the queen. How a sweet woman could look and act that way…was now additional to the wonders of the world. The queen, oblivious to Yuuri's thoughts of her, nodded and ran off somewhere to announce it to her other sons, big hearts and flowers flowing magically after her.

"What…just happened?" Yuuri said aloud to himself, wondering how he ended up in such a predicament. "You wimp! Look what you made me do…listen you wimpy bishonen, I am not engaged to you so forget the idea that just popped into your head just now…I am not falling in love with you no matter how hard you try!..." the Prince yelled at him, stomping off in anger after saying his statement. Yuuri sighed and nodded, running off quickly out of the palace before the guards noticed he had left.

God knows, he does not want to return to an angry queen who discovered he tried to run away. 'And besides I need to inform my best friend who wanted to marry the prince that I had accidentally gotten engaged to him…actually now that I think about it, I'm screwed…' He thought sadly, wondering if God would make his best friend not beat him up. 'That would be a great miracle…'

Meanwhile Prince Wolfram was suffering from hugs from his mother's helper, Günter von Christ. News had traveled pretty fast in the castle and now everyone knew he was engaged to the cute but wimpy brunette. 'Now I'm really in hell…oh well, at least no more love meetings by mother…' He thought happily, groaning at the name of the meetings. How he could have found love in such suitors would be the greatest miracle of all time and probably the nuttiest thing his mother thought he **would** find.

'At least Gwendal and Weller don't know…' At the same time, his brothers stepped into the room, Gwendal with as much as a smile he could get and Weller with a very amused smile on his face. 'On second thought, maybe I should pray for the ground to swallow me whole…'

"Wolfram is it true…you actually found someone?" Weller said concealed laughter in his voice. Wolfram groaned mentally and nodded with as much dignity he had, whimpering as his pride was shot down by his brother's laughter. "I am glad you find this amusing Weller…" Wolfram hissed, glaring darkly at his brother. Conrad shook his head and waved off the sentence, a small smile still on his face. "It is amusing but…I'm very happy that you found someone…"

"As am I…" a rough voice announced behind Conrad, stepping out to reveal a man with orange hair and a big impish grin on his face. "We fiancés can talk secrets with each other…" Conrad laughed at his fiancé's words and kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around him. "Yozak…what kind of secrets may those be?" He asked a small blush on his cheeks.

"No, no, no…it's a secret between the princes' fiancé's…right Günter?" Yozak said, winking at Günter. Said man, nodded in affirmation, looking as if he wanted to laugh at the stare he got from his fiancé. "If you two are done with flirting…can we get back to my problem? Being I don't want to marry that wimp…" Wolfram said angrily, shooting his mother a pleading look. Cecile ignored it successfully, wounding her son's pride even more. "You are going to marry him Wolf – chan, whether you like it or not…" She scolded, squealing as the thoughts of her son in a dress entered her mind. Her son would look as wonderful in it as he looked identical as her. Wolfram groaned in frustration and went into his sulk mood, earning him a laugh from Yozak and a stab to his bleeding pride.

"But where is his fiancé?" Gwendal asked, looking around for any sign of him in case he was hiding. "Actually I haven't seen him at all…" Günter admitted, smiling sheepishly. He had been fantasying about meeting Wolfram's extremely lucky fiancé that he had not realized that he wasn't in the room. "I left him in the throne room…the guards must have brought him up by now…" Cecile said, concern etched in her face. Everyone except Wolfram, who was happy, murmured their concern about the missing fiancé. They were so busy worrying over him that they did not notice the door opening and the guards entering the room with Yuuri in hand until Yuuri yelled out his protest. "Oi let me go this instant! I have rights!"

Everyone's heads snapped at the sound, silencing the brunette with their intense stares. "Um…hi…" Yuuri said weakly. After that, hell broke loose…with laughter! Poor Yuuri was thrown question after question, hugs after hugs, scolding after scolding. It was just too much. "People stop suffocating my fiancé! I can't marry him if you kill him…" Wolfram yelled out over the commotion, silencing everyone at once. Yuuri shot him a look of appreciation which earned him a blush and a glare from the fuming prince. "Wow…I guess this is the real deal…" Yozak said suddenly, breaking the silence again, earning him twin eyebrows from Wolfram and a still restrained Yuuri.

"You may be right….oh I am so happy that the prince has such a fiancé at last!" Günter cried out, earning him sweat drops from everyone as flowers appeared around him. "B-But…I don't want to be engaged to the prince…my friend does! I'm worthless…I have been told many times that by others…" Yuuri said, still trying to wiggle out of his hold.

"You henachoko, how many times do I have to say it? You are not worthless, and who ever said that to you has to answer to me. And since whatever you say you are still engaged to me, you better well get used to the idea…" the Prince shouted back, glaring angrily at nothing in particular. Yuuri blinked dumbly at the prince before smiling brightly at him, nodding. Wolfram caught the smile, blushed and looked away before he could get caught. But unfortunately he wasn't fast enough for one person. "Oh my…little Wolf – chan is blushing…" The queen squealed out happily, embarrassing her son and enjoying herself at the same time.

She was so relieved and happy that her son had feelings for his fiancé. She thought it would take a lifetime for him to like his chosen fiancé. Yozak and Günter laughed at the increasingly redness of Wolfram's face while Conrad and Gwendal chuckled at their misfortune of their little brother, not wanting to seem rude. After that, everything seemed to go smoothly. Yuuri was released but was kidnapped by Günter and Yozak, much to their fiancés' amusement even Wolfram who shocked everyone again that day by chuckling.

'I have never seen Wolfram so alive…and his fiancé hadn't even done much…' the queen thought happily next morning at breakfast, once again amused by Yuuri as he tried to eat slowly and failing. Wolfram was scolding him for eating fast, teasing him endlessly by calling him a wimp. It was so cute how they flirted that Cecile felt almost bad for interrupting them.

Almost that is….

"Well, now if Yuuri and Wolfram would be so kind as to quiet their flirting…I have a wonderful announcement!" Cecile said happily, giggling at the twin blushes she got from said men. They were cute indeed. "My sons and their fiancés will be going to the wonderful white marble castle by the sea to enjoy some relaxation…it is a small present to Yuuri and Wolfram's engagement from me…" She said the relaxation part with a wink to Yuuri and her son, giggling when they blushed brighter than raspberries.

It was obvious by the wink what the relaxation part meant. She could see the grandchildren from them now. "Any how…you will leave this afternoon to get a head start there…as you will be spending a month to relax and elope together. And no need to thank me yet for when you come back, I will give you a **real** surprise…"

After all was said, and the breakfast was finished, the brothers and their fiancés went to pack their things. It would have gone smoothly of course if Wolfram hadn't caught Yuuri talking to a maid and thinking they were flirting and chased the poor girl with a giant fork all over the castle (Don't ask me where the fork came from). But luckily with a few bruises, some scolding/flirting and some hard snogging from Günter and Gwendal, the brothers were on their way to the marble castle to enjoy some relaxation.

-Cue eyebrow wiggle-

**End of Part One**

**Author's note**

Part One is finally finished!^^

I'm so glad…hopefully I'll be able to finish Part Two by tomorrow…

Hope you guys liked what I had written so far…

I only wrote it like that, not looking over or anything…

Please forgive me D:

Anyways, stay tuned for Part Two!^^


	2. Chapter 2: A Perverted Misunderstanding

**Funny Royal Loving**

**Part 2**

Yuuri gasped at the beauty of the castle.

It truly lived by its name White Marble Castle as it was shining brightly in the spring sun, its whiteness nearly blinding. They had managed to arrive to the magnificent castle in three days by horse in the intense heat but Yuuri realized the heat was worth it. Ever once in awhile the sea splashed on the white shores which sprouted from the back of the castle, soothing Yuuri by how cool it looked and making him forget the horrible heat they were still in.

"Wow…its so amazing, and look at that water…so cool looking…" He said dreamily, oblivious to the amused looks he got from his companions. "We have to go in now…I can't wait any longer…"

Opening the carriage door and ignoring his fiancé's protests, he made his past the castle's beautiful doors and to its magnificent waters instead, quickly shedding his clothes and diving in. He sighed as he made it to the water's surface, relishing its coldness. It was perfect and it made him happy that he had spent so long in the hot days and nights. "Come on Wolfram…the water's just fine…" He called out, waving his fiancé over.

Wolfram blushed at the invitation, wanting to go join his fiancé but staying where he was as to prevent being like a laughing stock like his wimpy fiancé. "Like hell I am you henachoko! I have dignity unlike you…." He shouted back, angry that his fiancé was embarrassing him like this. He could practically hear the snickers. Ignoring the thought that reminded him that he was as amused by his companions as well, he made his way to the castle's magnificent doors, his nose raised high in the air. Conrad shook his head at his brother's pride while Gwendal watched coolly as his brother walked to the entrance, glancing back at his fiancé when he felt a squeeze from him.

Getting the silent message he made his way inside, hands still linked with a very happy Günter. Conrad, realizing that everyone was making their way inside, shared a look with Yozak who joined him in retrieving Yuuri.

A few punches, a lot of screams and some hard snogging from once again Günter and Gwendal later, the six of them were all set up in the castle and were having a nice lovely dinner. "This is an awesome castle…" Yuuri commented, still chewing on his food. "Hey, don't talk with your mouth full henachoko…" Wolfram hissed in his fiancé's ear, going back to his food after and ignoring Yuuri's several apologies. "I must say…I agree with Yuuri, this castle is spectacular! It even has a sauna here…" Günter chirped happily, grinning at the thought of the warm bath. Yuuri gasped at the information that there was a sauna here and stood up, eyes shining so bright, it put stars to shame.

"A sauna you say? That's awesome…I can't wait for when we're in there…we will express our manhood thoroughly…"*****

Well to put it lightly after that was said, hell broke loose once more…in laughter, along with heaven. Conrad had choked on his wine, Gwendal had choked on his water, Wolfram had choked on air, Yozak choked on the table cloth and Günter choked on his blood.*** **The only one not suffering was Yuuri who was looking at them weirdly, wondering if they were alright. "I think I like that idea very much…" Gwendal said, a strange twinkle in his eye, glancing over to Günter slyly. More choking sounds came from said man as he continued to choke more on his blood. Conrad shook his head in amusement while Yozak laughed, relieved that he wasn't chewing on the table cloth anymore. The thing gave him a cloth cut! "I agree one hundred percent…let's take a bath now..."

Yuuri smiled, happy that agreed with him.

"I am so happy you agree…Wolfram, are you joining? Don't tell me you won't be able to take my manhood?" He teased, grinning mockingly at his fiancé.

Let's just say Yuuri had never seen someone change that much shades of color in his life as to Wolfram. He changed from purple to red to pink to orange to blue then red again. "Ha! As if…" Wolfram replied, sneering at him, although a weird emotion was playing in his eyes. "Well then…prepare yourself as by the end of the day…you won't be able to look me in the face again as you'll be so intimidated…" His fiancé said confidently, starting the process of choking of his companions all over again. Life was so wonderfully evil sometimes.

Wolfram sighed sadly as he waited quietly in the sauna for Yuuri. His fiancé hadn't come in with them and he was waiting impatiently for him. And it didn't help that his brothers were already enjoying themselves with their fiancés. Wolfram shivered again as Conrad let out a wanton moan, trying to control his raging hormones. He wasn't going to last any longer by this rate. 'God if Yuuri doesn't hurry up…I'm going to…'

However before he could finish the thought, the man he had been waiting impatiently for stepped in, black hair that looked silky to the touch was obviously brushed, eyes so innocent that bambi would have lost from the start and muscles that rippled across the skin, it would make anyone agree to the idea of no clothes at the sight. But Wolfram wasn't focusing on that, he was focusing on the long, thick manhood that he couldn't wait for inside of him. The sight of it almost made him run up and kiss Yuuri strongly, asking him desperately to take him right there and then.

Almost that is…he still had dignity…

"Yuuri, you henachoko! What took you so long?" Wolfram asked in a scolding tone, a bit angry that his fiancé would keep him from…that. Ignoring the pleasurable shiver he got from the naughty thoughts, he dragged Yuuri in impatiently when he got close enough and ravished his mouth, leaving no room in his mouth untouched. He was so busy in his antics that he did not see the warning in Yuuri's yelp until he was pushed roughly away. "Nani? What is the meaning of this?" he growled, glaring at his fiancé who looked ready to run but was held fast by his glare.

"That's my line…what has gotten into you?" Yuuri asked, looking a bit offended that everything was blamed on him. He wasn't the one acting like an over horny drunken man. "Sheesh…at least not act like an over horny drunken man…" Günter and the others winced at the slap that was delivered next, looking at Yuuri sympathetically as he fell backwards by the force. Wolfram, who looked ready to kill anything that even looked right at him, stormed out angrily out of the sauna and to his room. If he stayed any longer he would have beat the innocence out of his fiancé and raped him after wards if he wasn't wounded so much that he needed serious medical attention. That was how angry and needy he was. 'Damn you Yuuri! You henachoko…'

'At least he's that angry at me like last night anymore…' Yuuri thought as Wolfram stepped in for breakfast. Last night hadn't gone so well (he still didn't have a clue what he did wrong) that he had to stay with Yozak and Conrad. He sweat dropped as he remembered his night with them. They had done it right beside him in the bed! It was a miracle he managed to make the night and morning with some of his innocence. He was quite sure it was very much finished. "Oi…henachoko, don't keep up the syrup…" Wolfram hissed at him, breaking his thoughts. Yuuri smiled sheepishly and quickly dribbled some syrup on his pancakes, handing it to his fiancé.

"Sorry…"

Wolfram ignored him and dribbled some syrup on his waffles, putting it gently down and digging in. He knew his fiancé was suffering from guilt if it was anything to go by his movements and Wolfram, the little sucker he was, was enjoying every moment of it. "Now that everything is alright…we can discuss about the trip to Marble Forest…" Günter said, eyes twinkling in excitement. To everyone except Günter's shock, Yuuri jumped up and started chattering excitedly, eyes twinkling just as bright as Günter's.

'It's another Günter! Lord, help us…' The brothers and Yozak thought simultaneously, sweat dropping as the duo started holding hands like teenage girls excited over their first prom.

It seemed Günter had an unrelated twin brother…

Lord truly help them….

"Come on guys…let's go to Marble Forest! God, I can't wait to see what is inside...I can smell an adventure a mile away…" Yuuri shouted, actually sniffling for good measure. The others sweat dropped at this except Günter who just clapped happily like a toddler getting his bottle. "I agree…let's not waste anytime…we only have less than a month you know!"

The others sighed and trailed depressingly after them, all the while dodging the many flowers and tiny rainbows that kept going in their mouths and hitting them in the face.

'Truly god isn't this cruel…' the youngest prince thought, eyebrow twitching at the costume his fiancé had on. He would become a laughing stock if his fiancé decided to wear that! "Hey Wolfram…what do you think?" Yuuri chirped happily, bouncing up and down, his fluffy dog ears and tail bouncing with him.

"Yuuri…**TAKE THE STUPID THING OFF NOW!**" Wolfram replied, eyes flashing dangerously. The prince expected him to become afraid of him by now and take off the thing but to his surprise, his fiancé just puffed out his cheeks cutely and looked away. 'Truly he isn't this stupid…' the prince thought scornfully, hands curling into claws. "Yuuri…if you do not take that thing off, I will personally take it off and show you how to use your manhood well…" He whispered, voice going into a seductive tone at the last part. Yuuri turned a lovely purple and quickly shed the costume, putting some normal clothes on and rushing off outside, much to the Wolfram's amusement. Who knew his fiancé could be so cute and funny but utterly stupid at the same time? 'But nobody said it was impossible…'He thought smugly, putting his clothes. Revenge material at last.

Oh how fun he was going to get on this trip to Marble Forest.

-Cue Wink-

**End of Part 2**

**Author's Note**

This is the end of Part 2!^^

Hope you like it…thanks to the persons who commented…

Hopefully I'll have Part Three up and running soon^^

Now for some meanings^^

1) What Yuuri meant by this is that they would show how manly they were, showing their muscles and hair and such….not what you perverts thought =w= -smug at my trickery-

2) Yozak had choked on the table cloth because he accidentally ate some of it when his head hit the table. Günter had choked on his nose blood! Some of it had dripped into his mouth while he was thinking naughty thoughts and he choked on it.

Hope that clears things up!^^

Again stay tuned for Part Three…

Please comment but no flames as I don't want any…I have to a stove to cook my stuff on. Thank you very much so I don't want non of your flames~

Ciao People….

P.S

Sorry for making Gwendal slightly perverted if some of you guys didn't like that…

Also, please check out my other Kyo Kara Maoh story.

Secretly in Love ~Yuuram fic also~

Link: .net/s/6870008/1/Secretly_In_Love


	3. Chapter 3: The Cave of Pervyness

**Funny Royal Loving**

**Part 3**

Wolfram had never had so much fun as he did today.

His plan of revenge from the sauna incident had started so successfully that Yuuri wouldn't even look at him without blushing madly and looking away. 'Who knew leaving my underwear on his sleeping bag would freak him out so?' He thought, smirking at Yuuri's back, remembering how his fiancé sputtered and blushed so bright that it brought roses to shame. God, his fiancé was so fun to tease….he couldn't wait to tease him more!

Unfortunately he was so engrossed in his next move that he wasn't prepared for a bug landing on his face. Said bug turned out to be a giant spider. Wolfram screamed girlishly and rushed off, passing all the others and successfully getting the giant spider off his face. 'Ewwww…..I hate spiders!' He thought, shutting his eye in case a lizard landed in it next. Ignoring his companions' calls, he rushed off even faster, only managing to stop when he hit a low branch. "Ow…" He cried out, rubbing his sore bottom and neck. No doubt there were going to be bruises. "Wolfram, a-are you a-alright?" Yuuri asked, pulling on his horse's reins and stopping his horse beside the fallen man. Getting a nod in return, he sighed in relief and got off his horse to help his fiancé. So sadly, he was not prepared for a kick in the face.

"Nani? Why did you kick me in the face, you jerk? " Yuuri asked, glaring at the blonde.

Wolfram huffed in response and climbed on Yuuri's horse, riding off slowly without him.

Yuuri stared shockingly at him before sighing deeply and brushing himself off. He didn't want to get dirty so soon since there was no water to wash off with around. "Yuuri, you okay buddy?" Yozak asked, stretching out a hand for the brunette to take. Yuuri nodded and took the hand, nodding in appreciation and climbing onto Yozak's horse since his horse was stolen. "Well then, since everyone seems to be alright…let's go!"

'How did I get in this mess?'

Yuuri sighed as another plant climbed into his shirt, repressing a moan when it rubbed against his nipple.

He wished he could stop it from doing what it pleased but unfortunately he was tied down and the others weren't around so he had to just let the plant molest him. What a nice way to lose his virginity!

'God…I wish I had waited to pee…this is all my pee's fault! If it hadn't wanted to come down, I wouldn't have gotten lost after finding a peeing spot and then stuck here getting molested and possibly raped by a plant! Actually why am I being molested by a plant? Didn't Günter say this place was nice?' He thought angrily, trying to ignore how close the plant was to going into his pants….literally. 'Oh god, somebody please help me…I don't want my virginity taken by a plant! Wahhh!'

Fortunately his answers were heard when he felt mobilized again and the perverted plants weren't trying to get in his pants…literally.

Unfortunately it was heard by Wolfram. How could god be nice now then cruel the next?

"Oi henachoko…how dare you seduce a plant into doing the dirty with you, you cheater when you have a perfectly good fiancé waiting for you!" Wolfram growled, glaring darkly at his fiancé. Yuuri paled in response.

"You know what…never mind, just come on….the others are waiting for us"

Without waiting to see if he was coming, Wolfram stomped off somewhere without him. Yuuri sighed in response, the color returning to his features before following his 'ever so helpful and sweet' fiancé. He had no idea why the other was mad and accusing him of actually going to sleep with a plant (seriously?) before walking off leaving him in the dust without hearing his side of the story. 'His family must have it rough…and since I'm engaged to him, I'll have it even rougher…what a predicament I got myself into…'

'That stupid henachoko…can't believe he would sleep with a plant but not me! I can't believe I was even worrying about him! That stupid cheater…he will pay…oh he will. Once I'm done with him, he'll be begging me to let him take me…oh yes, the time of me being taken senselessly is near!' Wolfram thought evilly, a smirk on his face at the naughty thoughts that accommodated it. Naughty thoughts were always brilliant for these **kinds **of plans.

'And the best part…I'm not fallinnngggggggggg…'

Unfortunately his last unfinished thought was true as he was very much falling…..

Falling in a very, very deep and dark pit that is….

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" He screamed, his voice fading slowly as he fell further in the seemingly bottomless pit.

Unfortunately no one heard him….

Though someone was looking for him….

"Huh? Where did Wolfram go? I could have sworn he went thorough here…Wolfraaaaaaammmmmmmmm!" Yuuri shouted, finding himself in the same predicament just like his fiancé and ending up in there the same way his fiancé had.

Unfortunately as well, no one heard him…

"What is taking those two so long?" Gwendal growled, feeling a bit edgy since he'd been flirted and seduced by his fiancé endlessly and couldn't respond to said flirtations and seductions. Life was so cruel. "Don't tell me they are doing **it** now?"

He growled angrier than before, feeling a bit jealous and upset that his precious-making-Günter-suffer-through-mass-but-little-pleasures were put on hold cause someone was doing it was well.

"Calm down Gwendal…I am sure they are fine if your worrying for their well being, they are both stubborn and Wolfram is with Yuuri and knows where're we're heading so you don't have to complain about your fantasies being postponed anymore since we can leave them…" Yozak said, grinning when Gwendal glared at him. His glares never worked with him but it was funny how the man struggled to make them work.

Gwendal sighed in defeat and looked away, riding off slowly without the others. There was no reason to stay there anyways if what Yozak said was true. Yet he was still upset by the fact that his glares never worked against the man. 'And to think that he's going to be in our family soon…god give me strength…' He thought, sighing deeper this time. The others followed after him shortly after he rode off, leaving behind Wolfram's and Yuuri's horse when they finally decided to arrive to the waiting spot.

It was only when they were far away that plants decided to creep up to the animals and drag them off to do *cough* some **interesting** stuff.

"Ow…what did I land on?" Yuuri asked, rubbing his still sore behind despite the soft landing. He hadn't really been expecting an answer and so jumped quite the height at the sound of one. "You landed on me"

"W-W-Who a-are y-you?" He asked, too terrified to realize that it was his fiancé's voice. A snort was given in response as well as ruffling as if someone or something was trying to stand up. Unfortunately this terrified Yuuri more and he lashed out in response, pushing the thing back in its early predicament. "You baka, why did you do that for?"

Yuuri blinked dumbly as he now recognized his fiancé's voice and rubbed his head sheepishly and smiled apologetically even though it was too dark for the other to see it. "Gomen Wolfram…I didn't realize it was you…" He got a grunt in response and thanked god that he didn't get scolded by his mistake. "By the way…where are we? Do you know?"

"No I don't…but where ever we are, we have to get out of and find the others…" Wolfram replied, standing up once again, watching Yuuri warily in the corner of his eye in case the other pushed him down again. Yuuri nodded in agreement before standing up as well, reaching out to try to find where Wolfram was. He was grasping air for a bit before reaching something warm, squeezing it a bit and realizing it was Wolfram from his squeak. Wait…squeak?

'Dear mother of god…help me restrain myself…' Wolfram thought, blushing brightly and thanking the heavens that it was too dark to be seen. He couldn't believe that Yuuri had grabbed his crotch. **His crotch**!

He squeaked and blushed brighter when Yuuri squeezed it a bit, trying to fan away the lust clouding his mind. Now was not the time to get all hot and bothered, and jump Yuuri's bones when he wasn't supposed to do so and they needed to get out of here!

"Um…Yuuri, why are you holding my crotch?" He asked, trying to keep the squeak from his voice. Princes were not supposed to squeak when their crotches were being held and squeezed by the person of their dreams and wet dreams….

'His WHAT?' Yuuri thought, pulling away quickly and blushing brightly. He ignored that little feeling that yearned to touch it again and opted to rubbing off any trace of Wolfram's crotch off his hand. Is God really and seriously cruel enough to make him grab the other's crotch? 'Maybe it's the devil instead…'

Wolfram sighed in disappointment and grabbed Yuuri's hand, ignoring the other's protests and dragging them out of there. He had no idea what was out there, but did not opt to stay and find out. 'But still…I wish it wasn't so dark…'

"Yuuri…didn't you and Günter talk about this forest? Shouldn't you know what cave this is and how to get out?" He asked, trying to look through the darkness. Sadly, no such luck.

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows and thought hard, wondering if he could find out what this cave was and how to get out from his and Günter's conversation. "Yeah…I think so…maybe, but it might not be this cave…" He said, trailing off.

Could it really be this cave?

"Tell me what you know…what cave did Günter mention?" Wolfram asked, a bit curious but trying to hide it behind annoyance (which was real by the way).

"Well…if by any chance the cave is this one…then we are in the Cave of Lovers*****…" Yuuri said, blushing brightly as he remembered how Günter had explained it to me. If the cave that they were in, that could only mean one thing…

"The Cave of Lovers? What's that?" Wolfram asked, even more curious when waves of depression washed over him when he asked the question. 'What's wrong with Yuuri?'

'Why god? Why?' Yuuri shouted mentally, having not wanted Wolfram to ask that particular question. "It's um…well…its, well it's…a place where lovers or two people in love with each other went to have a **little** 'fun'…"

'Please god…have pity on thee…'

Wolfram blinked in response, a bit dumbfounded at the piece of information that he had just heard. Was Yuuri really saying that in order to get out of there, he would have to molest him? 'Please tell me its true god…' He thought desperately despite the fact that something might be in there with them.

Yuuri fidgeted at the silent response he got from Wolfram, a bit nervous. The news was pretty stunning...it had been for him as well when Günter had told him…

'But god I can't take the silence anymore though, and we do need to get out….time to man up Yuuri…' He said to himself, taking a deep breath before going into the kill.

Wolfram squeaked when warm lips met his own, but returned it soon afterwards, melting deliciously in a pile of ice cream goo. Who knew Yuuri was such a good kiss? 'God…why do you make it so difficult to not jump his bones? And why did you make him such a good kisser that makes me want to faint in bliss?' He asked mentally, also thanking the heavens for this stroke of luck. But the thought and great thanks was short lived when bright rainbow crystalline lights appeared and the kiss ended abruptly.

'Nani? What happened to the magnificent kiss?' the prince whined, pouting slightly. 'Why does this always happen to me?'

He was about to complain at his fiancé for kissing him without permission when he caught the sight of women lingerie laying on the rocks and some of the crystals in the cave. It was obvious they weren't the first to end up here.

'Holy Jesus…is this heaven?'

Yuuri was thinking however quite the opposite from his now overly excited fiancé.

Sure he was happy that it was indeed the Cave of Lovers and the kiss did not go to waste but….why was there women lingerie all over the place? And why was Wolfram staring at them so?

'This is not good…we need to leave before I end up getting jumped…or worse…' He thought, shuddering at the thought of ending up in lingerie and grabbed Wolfram's hand, pulling the other away. He got no objection as the other was too busy staring transfixed while fantasying about something that Yuuri wasn't sure he wanted to find out. But the further they got away from said lingerie, the more Wolfram started to come back...although he was not happy.

'Oh thank god…the exit is there…' He thought, trying desperately to ignore the evil eye he was getting from Wolfram who was obviously upset about being led from the lingerie. How was he supposed to have his wicked way with Yuuri if the boy wouldn't stop running away from the thing that will get into his fiancé's pants?

Thankfully Yuuri was oblivious to this as he would have probably lost his normal skin color temporarily, and leaped out of the cave happily. 'We're out….and we're falling againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'

Both screamed but none could come to their rescue….again…

**End of Part 3**

**Author's Note**

Yay!

Part 3 is finally finished…

Hope you guys liked it by the way!

Sorry I took so long though….school took a lot out of me…

Again…did not look over anything so bare with me if I made any mistakes…

Also…no flames! Thanks for your comments and please comment on this chapter!^^

Meaning time!

Those who watch Avatar might remember this…those who haven't…well…it's from Avatar, the last air bender cartoon…

Now that we are done with that…Stay tuned for Part 4!

It will be out soon and hopefully…I might be closer to finishing this fic…

If not…well, hopefully…you would have enjoyed what I had written…

It's late so…Ja ne!^^


	4. Chapter 4: Sexual Fruits and Chocolate

_Animeyaoimaster: Okay...I'm sorry so will ya stop with the torches and pitchforks already? Geeze, I'm writing...I'm writing!_

_Enjoy though~_

**Funny Royal Loving**

**Part 4**

'Ow…my head hurts...'

Yuuri sat up from his uncomfortable spot on the rocky ground and took in his surroundings, coming to the realization that his blond fiancé had disappeared from his side. Thoughts of still being alive after falling from a far height or that he was half naked didn't even register in his mind as he began to panic, thinking the worst of his partner. How was he going to explain this to the king and queen and princes that he had lost his son and younger brother; he was sure it warranted death. Shaking off the horrifying images of his torture before death, Yuuri ran off to search for the other. "Wolfram! Wolfram, where are you? Wolfram!" No reply; Yuuri was getting more worried by the minute. Pulling his shirt on (he finally realized he didn't have it on) he set out further into the wilderness. Unfortunately unbeknownst to the poor black haired man, his fiancé was far from danger. In fact you could say he was enjoying himself...if you didn't know the true facts.

For a while now Wolfram had been searching for food to bring back to Yuuri, unaware that he was getting himself lost more and more. None of that made any difference until the blond finally did find food to bring back. He would be a masochist if he went back as it had taken some long journey to find something eat on an empty stomach so he settled down to eat some. It tasted horrible, way too salty for his taste but he still ate it (he was hungry); surprisingly the result was euphoric and a bit strange. First after he had eaten a few, he had felt pleasurable tingles all over his body then he had felt invisible lips touching his and lastly invisible hands massaging his sensitive parts. Anyone sensible would have immediately wondered what the heck was going on but not Wolfram, he was waiting for this from that day with the dinner incident and now good luck was giving him his wishes. With a little imagination, he could picture Yuuri doing this to him, making his manhood swell even bigger. Invisible hands ran over it, making the blond moan and clutch the earth as if he was about to be lifted off and into space. Who knew a horrible tasting fruit could give you such pleasure afterward? Without knowing it his clothes were thrown away from his imaginative Yuuri and his nipples were being sucked deliciously by the other's imaginary lips.

"Ah...Yuuri! No...Not there...Ah..."

Yuuri froze midway in his brisk walking at the sound of his fiancé's voice, shivering in fright at the sound of agony and suffering in the blonde's yell. Thoughts of horrifying images of how the other was being tortured flashed through his mind, slowing his cautious steps to the direction where the yell was heard. He wondered if he would be able to even save the blond much less not end up in the same situation and even wondered if he was probably too late to save Wolfram. That last thought gave him determination and strength, enabling him to go faster to where his fiancé was. He was going to live. He felt like he was prepared for anything that came in his path; nothing able to stop him from saving the other. Unfortunately he was not prepared for the sweaty, naked form of the blonde's body or for the also equally naked and sweaty body of himself. Wait...what?

"Wolfram, what are you doing?"

Unfortunately that was the worst thing to say at the time as the fake Yuuri looked up, dissolving in an ugly creature as soon as it lost contact with the blond it had been molesting on the ground. It seemed to realize this and ran away, disappearing instantly as soon as it hid behind some green plants. Yuuri sighed in relief at this, calming his heavily beating heart from beating itself out of its protective ribcage. He had nearly a heart attack when the other him had turned into a horrible monster; thinking it would either attack him or turn him into a horrible creature too. Fortunately it did none of those and for which the black haired man was grateful for.

"Nani, what happened?" Wolfram cried out, looking around. The invisible heated touches had stopped without warning and now the blonde's fun was now over. 'Maybe it was really karma...pretending to give me what I want then take it away. Well you won't win; I'll really make Yuuri want me...' He thought, grinning devilishly as he put on his discarded clothes. But not noticing the other Yuuri caused him both a shock and pain as he lost his footing and fell.

'God that hurt...damn you karma...'

"Thank god, we finally made it"

Yuuri cheered mentally and physically as they stepped in view of the famous Marble Falls that was rumored to have soothing waters that could any scar, disease, illness and in rare cases, restore one's virginity which tidbit he would be keeping in case his fiancé decided to try anything on him which was more than a possibility if the looks he were getting were any indication. But that was later and now...now after a tiring journey of almost being raped but still molested by a freaking **plant**, falling in a pit and accidentally mistaking his said fiancé's hand for his crotch and squeezing it like it was a plush toy, finding himself in the famous cave surrounded by lingerie, falling from a extremely long height that he wasn't sure how he survived and finding his fiancé who was near to sleeping with his clone who he discovered was actually that tricky fruit called Pleasures*****and discovering the whole reason for the trip, it now all seemed like a mosquito bite. Sure, that mosquito bite was not only painful but mentally scarring and a close danger to losing his virginity the wrong-est way possible but since they were here, it didn't matter anymore.

That was what the brunette was thinking anyways but his blonde counterpart was thinking something else entirely.

'Alright, all I need is a rope, a dozen cock rings, some handcuffs, a pig, a turkey, a pair of rubber gloves, a sheet, a pillow, some lotion, a few thongs and a body bag in case some man, chick, fly, tree etc interrupts my fiancé-seducing plan' Wolfram thought, mewling darkly as he thought of all the turkey blood would be splattered on his betrothed and how he would _'__help__'_ him. Of course, he wouldn't leave him like that for he was not that cruel. No...he would definitely help him lick...um, _'__clean__'_ him off. Oh yes, the time of being taken senseless by that utterly cute but awesomely huge and thick bishonen was near. He could practically taste it...

Fortunately both didn't have to wait for the others to arrive to begin their fun-genda*****for the others were already there, having long arrived and had been waiting for them before starting theirs which was mostly true as they had been doing *cough* something in their waiting so it was with joy they greeted them as they had been wanting to finally advance and modify their _fun_. Unfortunately, Yuuri hadn't noticed and hadn't been planning on waiting in the first place and so shot passed them, shedding his clothes in the process and nearly tripping himself. He was so bent on getting**his**relaxation that it was with horror that he did not hear nor remember the solid warning that Günter had told him before they left and so with a big leap and a splash later, he was in the water.

The realization of that was horrifying, body-paling, eyes-bursting-out-of-your-face-like-rocket-launchers that poor Conrad and Yozak had to snog like crazy in order to calm each other's nervousness(Hey, when ya gotta snog...ya gotta snog) of the now dangerous situation.

Wolfram settled for fighting with his pride for the decision to faint or not faint and the famous-snogging-in-almost-every-chapter couple were too busy to do some sexy snogging because they were trying to find out how they got in each other's clothes instead of worrying over the situation.

Wait...what?

Anyways, the result of the extremely lucky or extremely screwed fiancé of Wolfram von Biefield's splash was much worse than the horrifying, body-paling; eyes-bursting-out-of-your-face-like-rocket-launchers for he had gained something a man should not have if he wants to survive in such a world with women who are very protective of their stuff.

He gained an extreme abnormal desire for...

_Chocolate_...

The problem was there wasn't any around except in Wolfram's mini traveling bag at his shoulder that kind of looks like a sword at the moment and so, things got a bit bumpy from there.

"Chocolate, I need chocolate now or I will defeat all of you by just coming at you with my powerful manhood..." Yuuri yelled as his head burst out of the pool, beating his chest like a gorilla and heaving afterwards like he hadn't breathed in years or maybe it was because he had inhaled some water and it was a bit salty. The others would never know as they were too busy suffering from massive blood lost as everyone except the cause and said cause's fiancé got major nosebleeds after remembering the last time they had seen the man's manhood although Conrad and Yozak was having the hardest of times trying not to suffocate as they continued snogging and drinking in all their blood at the same time that it would have been sexy if it wasn't health related in the first place but Wolfram was the most confusing as he was suffering in turmoil over deciding to just eating the chocolate and letting his mouth being eaten, smearing the chocolate on his chest and letting his chest being eaten or smearing it all over and letting his body being eaten...that is if there was enough chocolate and if his silly, bishonen type fiancé would take the bait. After a few minutes and with some help from Yuuri ripping off his bottom half all together, he decided to test how chocolate-crazy the man was over by smearing some on his anus secretly.

The reaction was almost immediate.

Yuuri was on him in a flash, ripping his bottom half off and spinning him around so fast that he was quite certain he went back to the time of the dinosaurs before pouncing right on the innocent chocolate smeared puckered hole and sucking it so sweetly that the blonde barely had time to prepare himself for the impact and nearly chewed off all his jaw in the effort to not scream like bloody Mary in child birth and tell Yuuri to go faster as well as telling him to exchange it for the prize that was not in his pants anymore. Remembering that made the blonde shudder in bliss before stopping with a halt as he suddenly felt nothing happening behind him which confused him greatly as well as angered him with the power of ten thousand bulls. Who told that henachoko to stop molesting him? He was about to shout exactly that when it suddenly died in the process of getting it to his throat from his brain as he felt something ram right into him that was sticky, huge and was totally warm that Wolfram couldn't help moving enthusiastically on as he finally cheered at having his wish come true.

That the gorgeous manhood of his silly, idiotic fiancé that he was no way in love with that he was staring at some feet away was finally inside of...wait, what the hell?

'He stuck chocolate up my ass? How dare he? I don't care if he's cute; I am going to smother him with...with...with this chocolate in my bottom since I have no pillow to smother him with since I lost mine and...and...I really hate you Karma!' He cried, not even bothering to sob yet before pulling the chocolate out of his anus and pointing it like a knife at the now currently squirming Yuuri who was singing about "Chocolate Ass"*****in Gwendal's arms while his counterpart was making the_real_ Marble Falls***** appear after flushing the _poisoned_ one down a separate drain, looking excitedly as Günter could as his lover and fiancé threw said squirming, ass singing man into the water with a loud splash. Yozak and Conrad snogged in celebration which meant they didn't stop snogging. Wolfram just gave them weird, slightly jealous looks before snapping his attention back when his fiancé's head broke the surface, looking back to normal as well as confused as to probably why his nether regions seemed to be a bit more on the watery side than usual. His fiancé didn't care a fig, charging angrily right at him before stopping calmly and handing him a bar of chocolate. He received a weird look in return and returned it with a shrug, turning back to collect his torn cloths after Yuuri accepted the offer and munched on it greedily, resisting to smirk evilly at what he'd done and the half giggled half strangled sounds coming from his brothers and their own respectively fiancés. Poor Yuuri hadn't realized that he was not only giving an indirect kiss to his fiancé's bottom that he had molested with said bar but was also eating ass-juice as well as in his chocolate-frenzied state he had shoved it pretty far down.

It was all his fiancé could do without boasting at the probably flabbergasted Karma who was deciding whether to blush or try strangling herself/himself even though he/she was practically immortal. The answer was obvious and she/he was blushing more than a schoolgirl/boy.

After that, things fell into place as the others stripped and joined the poor, oblivious bishonen who was licking his lips after consuming the whole bar.*****They relaxed as planned, they teased and chatted with each other as planned although they kept a bit away from Wolfram who was admitting a weird aura and then just before the sun finally went down and the sky was shrouded in darkness with the exception of meteors, comets, stars and if possible, a planet that was probably smaller than Pluto and was actually near enough to Earth to see the games had finally begun...

"Wolfram got anymore of that delicious chocolate? I swear, it tasted better than anything I've ever eaten so could you just pull one out of your ass please, I'll even pay..."

And of course, more half strangled half giggling as well as nose bleeds and near suffocation from everyone even Karma except an oblivious Yuuri and a weird-aura-growing-stronger-now Wolfram.

**End of Part 4**

**Author's note**

Finally I'm done! That took ages!

Don't worry guys; no matter how long it takes this chaptered fic will finish...somehow! ^^

Again, didn't look over anything so I give, you take or press the back button to read something else! Savvy?

Anyways, time for meanings! ^^

1) Pleasures – A fruit designed to give you pleasure beyond your wildest fantasies despite its weird taste by making it almost seem as if the person(s) are actually there, touching, groping etc.

It is a fruit made by the author of this fic which is me! ^^.

2) I got that off of Sonny with a Chance which is a comedy show about a girl that won a contest to be on a comedy show. It's awesome despite it being a bit confusing at the whole idea of it so if you haven't watched it, I recommend you watch it now! ^^

3) "Chocolate Ass" song is based off of the song "Chocolate Rain" which is sung by a black guy with a _deep_ voice on YouTube. If ya haven't heard of him or his song or both then you need to hear the original song on YouTube before understanding this and getting a good laugh too. XDD

4) What? You really think they leave the real one out for people to come and use up and pollute it? Sorry but that's not how it works in Egypt darling –snaps fingers in a attitude way- fail/ XD

5) Just goes to show how much Yuuri just _loves_eating ass-juice. XDDDD

That's it? Okay...again, please comment and no flames or cursing me out for being late. This isn't my only fic I gotta write ya know! I have others I haven't even put up yet!

Anyways, it's late so…Ja ne! ^^

And please stay tuned for Numero Cinco or in English Number Five or in my crazy slang – You betta watch out for the laughing yaoi-y that is number five-y!

-Waves bye with two fingers up- We are aliens! XDD


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